Isis love anal11/8/2022 ![]() ![]() ![]() Pleasure for the receiver in this instance can come from watching their partner perform on the dildo or feeling like the dildo is an extension of their body, which could be very gender-affirming for them.įor people with vulvas, the clitoris is the pleasure center as it contains thousands of nerve endings. Some lesbians, genderqueer, or trans folks who have a vulva might want to receive oral on their dildo when wearing a strap-on. Keeping the dialogue open before, during, and after will help create a safe space with your partner to have a healthy relationship.įellatio can also be performed on a dildo and can be very sensual for both the giver and receiver. You can also practice aftercare with your partner and talk about how it felt, what you loved, what didn’t feel that great, and what else you want to try. It’s always best to verbally check in when you’re unsure. If you’re having a hard time deciphering their body language, don’t make any assumptions. As you slowly start to head down south, be aware of how their body is responding to your touch - as you kiss their lower stomach do they moan and lean into you or are they frozen and nonresponsive? If it’s the latter, you should pause and check in with how they’re doing. That’s when the dialogue can be had through nonverbal consent and getting to know your partner's body language. While you can communicate by saying things like "softer," "harder," "more tongue," "slower," or "right there," verbal communication can be difficult in the heat of the moment. However, even after you’ve talked about both really wanting to try oral sex, consent needs to be continually given throughout any sexual encounter. Reading someone’s body language can take time, and it’s best to establish verbal consent about trying something new like oral sex, instead of diving right in. It’s also important to keep the communication open with your partner during oral sex - using both verbal and nonverbal cues for ongoing consent. Maybe it means you ~set the mood~ with a massage beforehand or light some candles to create an intimate setting. If you're nervous (that’s normal!), be honest and talk about how you can create a context in which you’ll both feel safe to explore this new sensation. Talk about mutual pleasure and whether you both want to go down on each other. Every time you have sex, it’s a new opportunity to practice consent.īefore you can have oral sex, you want to make sure your partner also feels enthusiastic about trying this new sex act. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it, because communication is the best way to have pleasurable and consensual sex with your partner(s). Talking about trying something new - or communicating about sex at all - can feel intimidating and vulnerable for people of all ages. So you’ve decided that you want to try oral sex. How to Talk About Oral Sex With Your Partner Given all of that, it’s important that we unlearn these stigmas so we can have factual conversations about oral sex so we’re prepared to take care of our own health and be considerate of our partners. Not seeing oral sex as real sex makes it much more difficult to talk about how to practice safer sex (you can get STIs from oral) and is a subtle way of telling young LGBTQ+ people that the sex they may want to have is not legitimate. This is definitely a notion we want to undo because oral sex is most definitely sex - and for some people it’s the ~main course~ of their partnered sex. Additionally, studies have shown that young people often don’t define oral sex as sex. This phenomenon could be because abstinence-only sex education programs primarily focus on penis-in-vagina sex. It’s often theorized that in American culture people have oral sex before they have penetrative sex because it’s deemed “more acceptable.” For some, however, it's seen as the most intimate of sexual acts. There is a lot of stigma around oral sex. I define oral sex as the act of orally stimulating your partners' genitals with your mouth, tongue, and lips - which could include sucking or licking of the penis (fellatio), vulva (cunnilingus), or anus (analingus). This sexual act has been traced all the way back to ancient Egypt - through the myth of Osiris and Isis, when Osiris died and Isis put him back together, she was known to blow life back into him by sucking on his penis - which brings us to a more expansive redefining of oral sex. But that’s a very dry and vague way to define a sexual act that can be exciting, pleasurable, and intimate. Oral sex is medically defined as oral stimulation of the genitals. ![]()
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